Dear Politicians

Stop trying to please everyone.  It doesn't work and it's not healthy.  If you don't support something, that's fine.  But you need to say so when asked.  This "not not" supporting isn't good enough anymore.
Yes you risk not getting votes, tough.  Your job isn't to get elected; it should be to serve the people.

Please don't make me start my own campaign, you won't like it.

It will be the "yes or no" campaign.  If you can't answer a simple question with "yes or no", regardless of how I feel about the topic, you will get ignored.

Yes I know that not every topic or opinion can be answered so simply.  This is about being able to express you view.

Year of the Dragon

I've spent all of 2011 (and a little of 2012) embracing the Chinese year of the rabbit as 'my' year.  From working on being my selfish and self-centered, to finding a hair stylist I really enjoy, to buying a house for myself.  But as the end of that year is coming up, I find I'm sad that it won't be 'my' year anymore.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

The next year is Dragon.  Ever an awesome year and one I can fully embrace, and dare I say, make my own.  Dragon isn't a year to lament.  Dragon isn't just for special people.  Dragon is the height of the cycle, the fires of creation at their brightest.  That's the year for me, oh boy!

Just as I was Rabbit, so shall I be Dragon!

I am no good at expressing frustration

In the same day that I helped you tie your shoe I also find myself wanting to yell at you to back off a little.  Do you have to stand right behind me the whole fucking time I'm trying to mix cupcakes?  I mean fine, while I wash and you dry.  But as I'm trying to cook?  Do you have to tie a bow on the apron behind me?  Do you have to organize the shelf right next to me?  Fucking back off.  Please.  Please.

Because I know that I won't be able to keep the vemon from my voice.  Not today.

Living in the future

I've found myself living in the future a lot lately.  Some day.  It's not always a bad thing, some even call it planning, but I should be more focused on the 'now'.

I've pared down my original idea of a "10,000 hour project" to starting with a 100 hour project instead.  The goal: have fun.  To play for 100 hours and just let my imagination go.  I often have my brightest flashes of fun at lunch, I think it comes from having an audience (that never use to be the case).  This last week saw the creation of "Candy Land Zombie Apocolypse", just the idea of mixing those two makes me happy.  From there it turned into a easy swap with Adventure Time since it already has a Candy Kingdom, and they've already had two zombie apocolypse episodes.

All of this has lead to the idea of not just starting a project, but finishing one.  I'll feel more accomplished if I can point to something that's complete.

More details on this later. =)

Stress Dreams

I've learned that I give myself stress dreams.  I'm not having them right now, but recently (and at least one already written about here).  They are reflections of stress I'm feeling about... anything; work, life, money, family.  And i think they were probably meant to help me but they don't.  It's always some horrible worst-case scenario that I find myself in.  Damaged car when I need it most, missing documents when I need them most, etc.  I plays into my fear of being unprepared, which is something I've put a lot of time and energy into preventing.  Money in the car for parking, money in the back, favors owed, minimal needs.  All efforts to avoid finding myself "in trouble".  After so many good examples of "bad example behavior" I've internalized a fear of being in that situation.
Being relieved to wake up and find it Saturday and not "your car is broken" is big.  But to have that type of dream repeatedly, is huge.  And I think I get why it happens, and it will certainly be a good stress indicator going forward, I just wish the dreams were friendlier, or more directly helpful.

Not be like

I've recently observed in my friends that many of them are trying to "not be like their parent(s)". Some more than other have a strong motivator of being the opposite of their parents, or trying to create the opposite environment from how they grew up. Often times leading to irrational behavior, excessive saving or hording. Which leads me to wonder if I do that myself, and if so, what specifically am I trying to 'not be like'?

Left-hand Suzuki Method

While working on a friend of my mom's home computer this weekend. She was left alone with a toddler for a while. When we got back from Target, I was watching him play with a toy she'd given him that probably shouldn't have been a toy. She noticed he was pulling on it cord with his left hand and commented that he was probably left handed. I grabbed a plastic ring from the every-baby toy (the rod with different sized rings) and handed it to him. Trying to offer it to him from his right side. He grabbed it with his left hand. "Yup," she said "left handed."
She didn't seem to imply anything from it, just and observation. I like to think that I possess non-critical observation skills too. And now see where I get some of it from. I'm not sure why, but I was deeply impressed by her.